Our Hawaiian Wedding

Plumeria petals under our sandaled feet. The Pacific ocean breaking onto the volcanic shore. Some of our closest family and friends gathered on the beach. The warm Hawaiian sun on our faces. The sound of a conch shell, and our wedding ceremony begins. Our dreams are coming true.

Making our dreams come true with a Hawaiian wedding.

We're getting married in Hawaii!

Our Hawaiian wedding seemed far-fetched at first, but once we made the decision, we couldn't think of anywhere else we'd rather get married. We knew we wanted a small wedding and in the beginning, thought only our children would attend. However, once word got out, our guest list quickly grew. In the end, 26 guests attended from both east and west coasts. The entire event went off without a hitch, and we have memories that will last a lifetime.

East and west coast family and friends celebrated our union.

Choosing an island

Each of the Hawaiian islands is unique, and any one of them could provide the perfect location for a wedding. Roger and I had both been to the big island of Hawaii before, and we considered going to a different island. However, after researching Kauai, Maui, and Oahu, we decided to return to the big island. First, Kona is easy to fly in and out of, especially on Alaska Airlines, our preferred airline. Next, Kona has a central downtown area with many shops, restaurants, and activities within walking distance for guests who did not plan to rent a car. For those who wanted to rent a car and venture beyond downtown, the big island has many points of interest -- Volcanoes National Park, the North Kahola Coast, and Hilo on the northeastern side of the island. Finally, with so many options for lodging, our guests could find something suitable to them -- lots of choices in types of lodging, prices, amenities, and location.

The business of getting married

Minister Doug's message captured the magic of the day.

After we chose an island and narrowed down a date to a week in March, we had to find an officiant. Hawaiian weddings are so popular, the Hawaii.gov website has a section just for it. The Department of Health provides a list of licensed wedding performers, or officiants. We chose Minister Douglas Clark of Follow Your Path Ministries and Infinite Bliss Weddings. Minister Doug works side by side with his wife, Sophorn. (Coincidentally, a few years earlier, he married the daughter of one of our guests.) Most of my communication was with Sophorn, a friendly planner who quickly responded to our questions with the utmost courtesy. Infinite Bliss Weddings offers four packages ranging in price between $125 and $625. We chose the Jade package which included a donation to the "Where I'm From" project.  "Where I'm From" is an elementary school program that seeks to promote cross cultural awareness, understanding, and acceptance through music, visual art, and media. Minister Doug and Sophorn are not typical wedding planners, and we liked the idea that our wedding would contribute to a worthwhile program for local Kona children.

Timing is everything

Minister Doug and Sophorn perform just one ceremony per day, so we booked them almost a year in advance. Having the date and location set early allowed us to send save-the-dates in the summer and actual invitations right after the new year for our March 23rd wedding. We invited around 80 people, and with 26 guests attending, the 30% destination wedding attendance rate we researched online proved to be a good estimate.

Our souvenir wedding certificate

Within a month of the wedding day, we filled out the online wedding license application and paid the $65 fee. We got a kick out of some of the questions. One of them asked, "What is your relationship to each other?" The disclaimer assured us that being related did not automatically disqualify us from marrying each other. We received the confirmation email and receipt for our application which included a Locator ID number. The next step is to schedule an appointment with a marriage license agent for when we get to Hawaii. This step in the process was the strangest for us. A list of agents is available online, and after three attempts, I found an agent who returned my call. I provided her with our Locator ID and scheduled an appointment to meet her on the Monday before our Thursday wedding.

The strange part was driving to the license agent's home -- an estate really, which was lovely, yet somewhat remote -- I said to Roger, "This is the part of the story when no one ever hears from us again." (OK, so maybe I watch too much Dateline.) The agent met us in her driveway where she escorted us to her backyard and seated us at a lovely bistro table on the patio of her guest suite overlooking a large, green, manicured yard lined with coconut trees. She collected our IDs and left us alone while she ferried back and forth to her computer, first with our IDs and then with our $5 payment. At the end of the appointment she provided us with the necessary "piece of paper" that makes a marriage. As odd as the process seemed, it was personable and efficient. We wondered about the agent part of it. She obviously wasn't doing it for the money. Did she have some other interest in being an agent?

The marriage license is good for 30 days. We would give it to Minister Doug at the ceremony, and he would file it with the State of Hawaii. Within a few hours of our ceremony, Minister Doug had completed his part, and by 12:40 p.m. the next day, we received the online, temporary marriage certificate we could print. Within two weeks, we received the official, paper copy in the mail.

Cake and punch at Holoholokai Beach Park

Humpbacks crash the party

We organized a cake and punch style, meet and greet reception two days prior to the wedding at Holoholokai Beach Park. The park is located about 45 minutes north of Kona off of Highway 19 and near the Fairmont Orchid Hawaii Resort. We chose this park in part as an excuse to see a different part of the island -- not that an excuse is needed!

We bought a cake from Costco as well as a few cheese and cold cut platters, fruit, and crackers. We were sensitive to the rules against alcohol on the beaches. We brought punch we had mixed back at the condo -- but not enough. It was a hot day, and the punch was gone within a short period of time. Thank goodness Roger brought extra mai tai cocktail. As it turned out, our picnic neighbors, a group of local twenty-somethings, were enjoying their 12-pack of Bud Light with no worries, so we didn't have to be as concerned as we were about having alcohol at the beach park.

A humpback whale crashed the party.

The cake event provided some of the most heart felt memories of our wedding week. Our family and friends from east and west got to meet each other -- most of them for the first time. My son gave a toast on behalf of my family, and one of Roger's daughters toasted for the Hardings. We got the traditional cutting of the cake photo, and then to top it off, a mother humpback and two calves provided a whale show in the waves just in front of us. They breached a few times and showed their tails. The winter whales of Hawaii are said to be the same whales that summer in Southeast Alaska and near Juneau. It felt like a special blessing.

A lei exchange is a Hawaiian wedding traditi

The ceremony

We met everyone at the far right end of the Old Kona Airport Beach Park at 3:30 p.m. Our guests gathered under a shade tree. The weather was warm and sunny, and I'm glad we provided a cooler of cold water. Minister Doug set up the audio / video equipment, and Sophorn lead us onto a path and into the nearby vegetation for a photography session. Our package included 150-200

Sophorn captured the beautiful Kona landscape.

photos. That's a lot of pictures! With the arid landscape surrounding us, Sophorn said, "People are going to think you got married in Africa!" She showed us some of the shots she was taking.

To open the ceremony, Minister Doug blew the pu (conch shell) to welcome the divine spirit to watch over us and our ceremony. Apparently the conch has been used in celebrations since ancient times and still carries sacred meaning in Hawaiian culture today.

Minister Doug's special message for us personalized the service and honored the specialness of the day. We exchanged leis, vows, and rings. The lei exchange is a Hawaiian tradition and carries several meanings -- unity, completeness, and coming together.

Luau reception

The wedding party celebrates at the Island Breeze Luau.

After the ceremony, we met our guests at the Courtyard by Marriott King Kamehameha's Kona Beach Hotel for a Hawaiian luau. Choosing the luau in lieu of a traditional wedding reception was the best decision we made. The luau featured an open bar, cultural displays, hula lessons, live band and dance performance -- including a fire dancer -- and of course an all you can eat buffet. The luau provided a beautiful outdoor location where our small group could visit with each other in a relaxed and celebratorious atmosphere.

My mother made the arrangements for the luau, booking in advance with Island Breeze Luau. We reserved preferred seating which allowed us to enter at the front of the line and sit right in front of the stage. We were also first in line to the buffet. The entire event couldn't have been more perfect for our wedding reception.

Loving hugs to remember each other by

Saying goodbye

The worst part of our wedding week in Kona of course was saying goodbye to family and friends and to the island itself. Our family is spread out across thousands of miles, and saying goodbye is always a somber moment, not knowing when we will see each other again. We tried to savor every moment and take advantage of each opportunity to visit during the wedding week.

Mr. and Mrs. Harding

I suppose being sad to say goodbye is typical of most weddings, but being in Hawaii together provided an extra bond. As Minister Doug said, "By joining in the bond of marriage here in 'Paradise', on the island of Hawai'i surrounded by the ocean, volcanoes, and amongst the Universe's most magnificent creations, know that you have forever become one with each other and this sacred land whose Aloha will always be a part of you."